Just me.

Good Morning! May love and laughter find you!

Blue skies! I love when the sun is golden on the trees. Being September, the trees are beginning to change into bright colors. It will be beautiful and splendid soon.

Coffee’s at the ready! Made a nice dent in things by finding homes for things to be. I keep reminding myself to pay attention to these in roads.

Feeling better about the changes I feel in my body at the site of the surgical wound. It is newly healed, no bandage or drain. Just newly head skin, muscle, nerves. Now that I understand what I am feeling, that it is indeed part of the healing process as I suspected. Not something going wrong____. I do not want the hernia to come back.

Being told what to watch for if there are issues helps. To know an expected time frame for normal healing helps; even if it is six months!

Somehow, I am more patient with myself, and I am surprised at this. I am giving myself time. The time to heal. At this point in life I am different now and that is a part of this whole process. It’s a mix of patience laced with____ anxiety? Yet if I am consistent, I know I will come to a really good point. The thing I came to understand is that there are a lot of things I can do while I wait to heal and these things move me forward. One thing I realized was I could be creating new art! I can get to all those materials. Art is healing after all! I can cook healthy meals for me and my grandson Alex. The day-to-day things have their place. They are rhythm. It all depends on how we look at the things we do. We can change what we do up and give our lives new meaning. Instead of looking what I can’t do I am looking at what I can do.

A mindset I can go with. I recall the habit I had of waiting. This I realized began in childhood. It stems from doing what your told by your parents. As a child my time was spent working more than playing. And so I was accustomed to waiting to be told what to do once one chore was done, and if I could play or was needed to do something more. Children need time to learn and have experiences in. If all you do is work____ Well. Some chores do not hurt kids. But if there is no balance between work and play time, time with friends one’s own age. When it is just adults. Your not just missing out on something important to childhood. Your expectations are different. You wait to be told, and to break such a cycle means recognizing the problem. I was lucky as a counselor helped me understand this behavior. Some people may not realize that the things they do are out of habit and expectations from childhood. I am sure my mother felt overwhelmed and needed our help. There was a lot to be done the way life was lived. There was a time I did not understand these things and was angry at my parents. The saving grace is realizing you’re not alone when it comes to such experiences.

Best wishes! Pejj