Thoughts for the day!

May love and laughter find you! May you find ways to keep your space a happy one! Fill it with hope, love and laughter! Gather the positive friends and family to you! Don’t take on the problems of others, that is theirs to work out. Learn to get out of your head and drop down into your heart! That gives us much more balance and happiness!

The world is a madhouse! Things need to fall apart before they can be rebuilt. What we can do is go local and start there with building our communities. Good friends are often found there!

I have been exploring how to make life happier for some time now despite what is happening elsewhere. I am thinking about what I can do to help others heal from all the trauma by using my art and writing. Art, writing, music are all great ways to affect others. These are my skills, but there are other skills that do make a difference.

How we communicate with one another truly matters as well! Many people do not communicate as well as others. There are a number of reasons why this is so. How to communicate well should be a part of teaching the English language in schools. It would help with peer pressure, and it would put everyone on a even level of communicating with one another. Parents who are poor communicators would pick up skills by what their children are taught K to 12th grade. The issues we have as adults are based on not communicating well.

Good communication means checking in with your listening skills, are you taking turns? And if you don’t give enough time for someone to respond before responding what is that about? Stopping to ask yourself questions is important. Has some thought come into your mind? Perhaps your reading the other person as being in an awkward moment and you feel you should not have asked or said something. This happens and so it requires checking in on the response to see how your thought has someone feeling. Clarifying helps us understand someone else better. It creates a comfort level where you and the people you’re talking to can back track and say what you both mean. Good communication takes time. It’s letting the other person know you really are interested. Sometimes the mind works too fast, and things rush out. Such times can be brought into control. Sometimes we worry we won’t remember something important to us. Taking turns helps with this anxiety. It is our concerns that also get in the way of what we say and how we say it. Feeling heard however is important for both people, all people in a conversation. Mistakes will be made at times but clarifying, improving on communication will make things better. I feel this also applies to messaging on Messager. I was noticing that I was shooting off questions I wanted to know however, this was not waiting for a response for the first question asked. Again, turn taking. I thought this has been something me; my family members have been doing. And to answer them I end up going back to find what I am not respond to. Messaging has been teaching us to barrage one another with thoughts. And it’s not how we should communicate as it leaks over into our conversations where others are not feeling heard. We shorten up what we want to say when messaging as well to save time? Thinking about behaviors we do is a good thing I feel. I would love to know what you think about what good communication is.

Good communications encompass many things. If taught in schools k thru 12 it would teach about body language, tone of voice, sending mixed messages and how to understand when someone else is doing this. It would teach listening skills and turn taking.

Good communication also involves cultural considerations; workplace communication varies from home and school. All forms are equally important.

Having good communication between people involves how relationships work as well.

If you fail to communicate well____, this does, will happen. You can back track. It requires apologizing, and meaning that apology. By showing that you will, have thought about the experience, and are willing to change by improving on your skills. Others will appreciate your efforts and should notice them. Continuing as you are and not understanding or seeing how you’re affecting someone is being blind to who they are and what they mean to you. We all want to be truly heard. But that does not mean we should bombard others with things about ourselves and not show interest in these others.

Taking time to establish how you feel and others is a good thing, it’s important! It is being accountable for your relationships that really matter. It can feel awkward to bring up issues but it is better to do so rather than have someone spoil your friendship or family relationships. Sure, it can be embarrassing to talk about some things, but we are all learning our way forward. But if a relationship means a lot to you, hey you should be able to work things through. Even if it takes a couple times when someone has slipped up. If you talk about what’s acceptable it brings understanding to the surface. You can revisit what you establish as being ok, so you can improve on your relationships. I have learned it’s good to look at my behaviors.

I look back at my relationship with my first husband, and I see we did not communicate well because of what we did not know, and because we were compelled by the need to say what we wanted to say and feel heard. We resented one another because we were not feeling heard. My mother and fathers’ relationships were difficult for the same reasons. We end up in counselling where we learn about listening and communication. I hope my thoughts may help you.

Best wishes! Have a great day! Pejj