One important thing I have learned about living life is that we affect others by what we day and do. And that there is a responsibility towards the relationships we make. Relationships between people are where commitments are made. Not all relationships are the same of course we don’t make deep commitments to the mailman although over time we may know more about that person. But here I am talking about the kind one invests in.

There is a risk in having a relationship! LOL, its allowing someone to know who you are. It is being yourself. However, not all people take on that capacity, or perhaps I should say that allowance of being fully, of giving fully. The risk is being hurt. It is trusting in someone. What is needed is allowance to become and evolve into who you are. It takes time, and we humans have come to measure life by clocks. We have filled the day with work so to survive, and the result is less time to become someone in. Our emotional selves depend on thoughts that come into play rather than what we know in our hearts and higher self. We fail to go there. We get impatient with one another and have come to paint each other with a brush from those thoughts. We fail to understand one another because we are always on guard and protecting the self. We avoid the pain and hurt that we are sure to come. And we resent its coming without knowing for sure what it may be. We are so complex we fail ourselves. The body responds to all we think and there for believe as our truest reality. We think we are alone in what we know and give no recognition to others are thinking something very like what we think. It’s their version, it stems from their experiences, and so we don’t truly know because we are not privy to all of what others think, or do. We cannot be these other people.

We all want the same kinds of things, love and acceptance. Yet there we are saying and doing unkind things, unloving things which break connections and make us deeply sad, hurt, angry. It is hard to take a higher road. It is feels hard to feel your the only one taking the time to think about a relationship. It feels like your alone and it is lonely to be by yourself. It does require effort even when you feel so beat up about your experience, which is determined by what you sense is so. The complexities are so overwhelming. We need a different kind of world. And we don’t have it.

What would such a world look like? More time would be afforded people to be with one another. So that the pressures felt were not as they are now. It is often what is happening outside of ourselves that fills and feeds our negative selves. We think we have to have all the answers and understand. We live our lives as if they how to look at life and the people in it has a base of being as propaganda. If we do not agree with something we stack up all the pros and cons against it. And that is our bottom line. However, the truth is that when you apply the rules of propaganda you know the stand you are to make. You go with what you consider the best answer. The answer you want for your own reasons good or bad, you don’t want to look at the responsibility you established regarding the relationship. You simply want out! If it feels bad, is a bad relationship its justifiable to want to end it. But there is a responsibility there. One we lack time to resolve. That only time changes. For example after my divorce I remembered the things I loved and liked about my first husband. And I understood why, we had not been a good match. However, I recalled the things that had brought us together. I spent so much time on trying to understand him I did not live life fully. The issues were beyond us, and what we wanted out of life. Again, a lack of time to be the couple, and the time to know one another.

The song about “If I could change the world, I would____. Sometimes all there is, is taking a higher road for sanity’s sake, for your own sake. Sometimes you need to set boundaries and leave a relationship because it is not working and you can not affect it. It becomes too painful to convince the other what is your reality and not theirs. We cannot pick and chose who this other someone is. It is easier if we do not deeply care about this other person that ties have been made with. Especially when your believe with all your heart that it is an unbreakable bond. Such is the world at this time, people are protecting themselves again whom ever they believe is____ not someone they want to be a part of things. Who you are seems to have become to much.

I am someone who hates lies because they cause hurt and pain. I allow others to come to their own conclusions but I do drop pearls of wisdom when it feels like they would help. When I do this I assume people can use them or chose not to, I do not force my thoughts on others, however it is what I think and taken as such. I am someone who chooses to be as I am. I think I am not judging others but the truth is we all do make judgements of what we feel is right or wrong. In my mind, from growing up within a different reality. I learned that the world was supposed to be a place where we could make allowances for our differences. It’s not the case with most people it seems. It requires trust and respect to let something stand according to what is believed. Instead, we have division, side-taking that leads to hurt, anger and even hate. Ghosting others is a part of this, and people feel they are protecting themselves. They think they are entitled to whatever time they need to come to their own conclusions. And well, people will just have to live with that! So, it seems. Ghosting has its consequences because it forces you to set boundaries and cut the ties that fill your life with anger and hurt. Trying to understand what happens take too much out of you, it eats up what should be, what can become happiness.

There can be a place for this experience, it is a death to be mourned. A loss you deeply feel and need to acknowledge.

You need to remember what you have to offer the world! There are many others who need who you are and what you can bring to their world. Life can be rich and full of love and laughter. There are no guarantees if someone ghosting you wants back into your life. I don’t know how I will respond if that ever would happen. I know that I would feel the same way I do about what to expect out of a relationship! Relationships are built by showing respect, by building on trust, love is not conditional. It’s not one-sided. Love grows when these things are in place within a relationship. I don’t know if that can happen. It was not my chose, despite how I felt things were going and the way things went.

Blogs are supposed to be short. But I don’t know how to make them short because there is so much to be said that does not seem to be said. It all matter because we all matter. We must matter to ourselves first and foremost! Loving the self is taking care of the self. No one has a right to make less of who another person is. I know I am not alone, and I know I will read something longer if it hits home. Or I would scan it to see if it did then read it.

Pejj Nunes 3/28/2026